What to Wear for an Evening in London

Nobody asks this and a fair number of people worry about it. The short answer is that it matters less than you think and not for the reason you would guess: what you wear barely registers, but whether you look like you made an effort registers immediately.

The actual standard

Clean, pressed, and appropriate to where you are going. That is genuinely the whole bar.

Nobody is assessing the label. What people notice, in order: whether you smell fresh, whether the clothes fit, and whether they look like they were put on deliberately. The third one is the difference between a shirt and a shirt you chose.

By setting

An incall at her flat. The most relaxed of the lot. Smart casual is right: a decent shirt, trousers, proper shoes. A suit is overdressed and jeans are fine if they are good ones.

A hotel outcall. Same standard, with one addition: you are walking through a lobby. Look like a guest, which mostly means not looking like you are trying not to be noticed. See London hotel bookings.

A hotel bar or a restaurant. This is the one where it moves. A jacket is close to mandatory in a good London dining room after seven, and several will find you one if you arrive without. Our post on choosing a restaurant covers which sort of room you are walking into.

A party or an event. Whatever the event calls for, and tell us what that is when you book, because she is dressing for the same room. See party and event bookings.

The part that actually matters

Shower. Recently, not this morning. Clean teeth. Deodorant. Nails.

This sounds patronising written down and it is by a distance the most useful paragraph on this page. It is the single most common thing that makes an evening less good than it should have been, it costs ten minutes, and it is entirely within your control. Our guide on escort etiquette makes the same point at more length because it keeps coming up.

Go easy on the aftershave. A small amount is pleasant, a lot is unpleasant for two hours in a small room, and there is no way to take it off once you have applied it.

What she will be wearing

Dressed for the setting you told us about. That is why we ask.

An incall booking, she will be dressed for her own flat. A dinner date, she will be dressed for the restaurant. A hotel bar, she will look like somebody meeting somebody for a drink, which is the point.

If you have something specific in mind, say so on the phone rather than on the night. It is an ordinary request, nobody handling the call will react to it, and it is the only way it happens. Sprung on somebody at the door it simply does not, because she is already wearing what she is wearing. The same logic applies to role play, where the outfit is half the arrangement.

A few specifics people ask about

• Suit or no suit. No suit, unless you have come from work or you are going somewhere that wants one.
• Trainers. Fine for an incall. Not for a dining room.
• Coat. London, so yes. It also gives you something to do with your hands in the first thirty seconds, which is not nothing.
• Watch and jewellery. Wear what you normally wear. Nobody is valuing it.

The nervous version of this question

Underneath “what should I wear” is usually “will I seem out of place”. You will not. She has met a great many people and the range is wider than you imagine.

Turn up clean, on time, and having thought about it for five minutes. That is the whole of it, and it puts you ahead of most of the week.

If it would be your first booking, booking for the first time covers the rest of the evening. Or ring +44 20 7846 3480 and ask.